2.5 Emotional, social and personality development  (Page 4/4)

Importance: Emotion regulation is similar to regulation of energy states (excitement or arousal) because excitement and arousal are similar to and related to emotions. If someone is very happy, that is likely to contribute to excitement or arousal. So emotion regulation is similar to generic self-regulation. Emotion regulation must be developed at some point, and it makes sense that it is developed when children are first exposed to large amounts of emotion, which is likely to be during preschool play, where they have more increased cognitive, social, language, and social-cognitive skills than before. Those skills help contribute to more emotion being generated because they provide sources of emotion. Language adds a lot of things to get emotional about. A child isn’t as likely to get excited as much being with his parents not playing. Emotion regulation is an important part of how people experience emotions. If you gain insight into your emotions from emotion regulation, your emotional experiences might be increased because you are more aware. Developing emotions in the preschool years contributes to how children feel and master emotions. In fact, play in those years is similar to adult interactions, it involves many of the ups and downs and uses similar cognitive abilities. It is like life is being experienced in greater depth, and these experiences form the starting point of feeling. With feeling comes emotion regulation, it is hard to have one without the other.

Describing relationships

1. The content of the interactions - This refers to the things the participants do together. Most sociological types of relationships are defined by the behaviors involved (the type of relationship e.g. doctor-patient, teacher-pupil, lover) Friendship and kin relationships are obvious exceptions, in that in our culture they are not identified by what the participants actually do together, but by aspects of quality, intimacy, interpersonal perception, commitment, etc.
2. The diversity of types of interaction within the relationship - The more things two individuals do together, the more aspects of their personalities are exposed; the more experience is shared.
3. The qualities of the interactions - For example, did the participants communicate constructively, competitively, loudly, softly, etc? Analysis of speech and nonverbal communication will provide data here. This is subjective, what someone might think of the quality of an interaction might or might not be a good relationship, this judgement could vary over time, between individuals, and between cultures.
4. The relative frequency and patterning of interactions - The extent to which interactions of different sorts or qualities are present; properties derived from the frequency of interactions relative to the frequency with which each partner attempts to initiate them (sometimes people try to ask to do something but it doesn't actually happen); the relations between differenct kinds of interactions, (the structure of the relationship) such as controlling, permisive, etc, and the patterning of interactions over time.
5. The reciprocity vs. complementary nature of the interactions - Reciprocal interactions are those in which the two partners do similar things, such as play the same sport; complementary interactions are those in which they do different things, but those things complement each other. Most close relationships involve a complicated mixture of reciprocal and complementary interactions.
6. Power and autonomy - Power and autonomy are complementary, if one increases in one partner the other is likely to decrease in the other partner. One partner could have power over the other if they can influence the consequences or impact of the other persons behavior. Frequently one partner would show power in some content areas while the other in different ones. The amount of power asserted can be measured and assessed (for instance persuasion vs. command). A power differential can be perceived differently be each partner, it can be seen as desirable by both or not. However, well-meaning moves towards closeness by one partner may be seen as constraining and decreasing the autonomy of the other. Lack of agreement or acceptance of where power lies leads to conflict.
7. Intimacy-the extent to which the participants reveal themselves (emotionally, cognitively, and physically) to each other - Intimacy requires the discloser to feel understood, validated, and care for and is thus related to trust. However intimacy has its limits as it may be important to maintain area of privacy.
8. Interpersonal perception This category includes things such as "Does A see B as B really is?" "Does A see B as B sees B, i.e., does A understand B?" "Does B feel that A sees B as B sees B, i.e., does B feel understood?" Feeling understood implies understanding at a deeper level and includes an interpretation of the verbal conversations the people have for a more true understanding (such that would lead to a "feeling understood" feeling. Also important is how the participants see the relationship, and also how they see the world, if they see it in a similar fashion they could be closer.
9. Commitment. - Do the partners strive to ensure the continuation of the relationship or improve its quality? Does each see the other as committed?
10. Satisfaction - Do the participants perceive the relationship as close to their ideal or preferable to alternative relationships?

I can express the above list in a more concise way that will show more effectively the properties of a relationship. Relationships are intimate, however there is power and autonomy involved. People have similarities and do similar things, or they do opposing things and are different. People might have expectations of satisfaction and an idea of what an ideal relationship might be like. That might influence commitment, if it isn't satisfying they are less likely to be motivated for commitment. This is likely to also be related to interpersonal perception, one person might view the other as poor or not the way they are because they want to see things their way. Maybe they find it interesting to see the person in a variety of ways, if a person was single faceted there wouldn't be any strong basis for commitment. Perception is very complicated, people don't just see someone completely accurately immediately or even after a long period of time. If they did see them accurately there wouldn't be any room for growth and change and dynamics. If you have problems in the relationship resulting from improper perception it could add a lot of content to the relationship. One person could want to see themselves as strong and the other as weak, causing a chaotic interaction which could prove interesting. The other person could constantly be trying to prove themselves. That is one way to put pressure on and provide one type of satisfaction. Or if they saw the person in a overly good light maybe that would influence how they feel and they'd feel good about the person because they think are very good, better than they actually are. Maybe the entire perception dynamic of all the persons traits is confused and their relationship is just a mess. Having things to work on adds content. Maybe the content, diversity, and quality of their interactions is perceived completely wrong as well.

Principles of dynamics

1. The social context - The issue here involves social influences on the development of personality, the influence of third parties on relationships, and the dialectical relations with the sociocultural structure (how society communicates with groups, which could communicate to relationships, etc.)
2. Processes of exchange and interdependence involving resources of various types. There is an emphasis on the interdependence between partners, and on the manner in which an individual may include the partner in defining his or her goals and rewards. What is considered "fair" may differ based on the type of relationship, and "fairness" may not matter between close friends or kin. There are various types of resources that can be exchanged such as money, services, goods, status, information, and love. Obviously love should be placed in another category than the material ones. There is probably a lot you could say about each of those.
3. Processes of positive and negative feedback - Certain patterns of resource exchange (or interaction over a long term) may lead to increasing closeness or distance in the relationship.