1.1 Maturity

English home language

Grade 8

Valued values

Module 2

Maturity

You might feel at this stage that you are not coping or that you are finding things a bit confusing. That is natural. So let us look a bit more closely at the whole question of MATURITY and at your relationship with your parents or guardians.

Activity1:

Read the following carefully and then answer the questions that follow:

Parents want us to be mature but when we make our own decisions, then we are not mature enough!

So how CAN we win the confidence of parents?

Well, TWO things are crucial: It all boils down to TRUST and we have to EARN that trust.

Let me tell you something about parents. They are fine so long as they know what you are doing and where you are going and when you will be home. The problem arises when you reach the age of independence and you feel the need to be mature and to make your own decisions or your own judgement calls. Then parents feel they are losing control and they think you are too.

Just try going out without telling your parents whom you are with, what you are doing and what time you will be home. No matter HOW harmless your time has been, there is only one rule as far as parents are concerned: THEY WILL THINK THE WORST. If you are ONE minute late, then they think there has been a terrible accident, somebody has kidnapped you and so on.

Again, TWO things come into play here: Their concern actually shows that they LOVE you (enough to really worry) and we ARE actually living in a world where terrible things DO happen, AND your parents DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

SO, now you two parties need to talk.

Let me give you a clue: PARENTS NEED REASSURANCE. They do not need confrontation. This is because a confrontation shows immaturity and a full CALM discussion shows maturity.

1. Make sure that your friends ARE trustworthy. If not, your PARENTS WILL never REST.

2. Let your parents into your life. They are not totally unreasonable and become more reasonable as they learn to understand YOUR value system. So, YOU need to trust THEM. It works both ways!

3. Bring your friends home, share what you have been doing and let your parents feel YOU trust THEM with YOUR life. Share your experiences; your likes; your dislikes. Let them KNOW that YOU know the difference between right and wrong by your value choices.

4. You do need to make MATURE choices otherwise you will lose their trust and that is very difficult to regain. So treat this with sensitive behaviour. Try to act rationally and calmly. Treat others and their property with respect. THIS shows maturity. This SHOWS maturity. This shows MATURITY. (Examine these three sentences carefully!)

5. Do things at home that you have not done before – NOTHING will get your parents to admire you more quickly than this: Tidy your room for a change; ask if you can help with something at home; offer to wash the dishes! Sometimes stay home to be with your parents.

Ask your father/mother how they are. It works like magic!

6. You must be SINCERE. So NO CHEATING. Parents can see through this VERY quickly.